Food

My kombucha was a fail. The SCOBY wasn’t viable and it was tossed. I’ll procure another and try again.

This is my second attempt at making kefir. It’s on the shelf for its photo shoot. Do not leave your kefir in the sunlight! Heat will kill the grains.

My first attempt at kefir didn’t work out super well. I put too many kefir grains in with my milk. The ratio is important. I was a bit cocky because the hands-on part of making kefir is so.damn.easy. When you have too many grains it can grow very quickly.

I ended up with a fist sized blob of what I thought was grains within two days. The rest of the fermenting milk did not thicken into the yogurt-y texture I was anticipating. It was still like, well, milk. Turns out a lot of the mass’o’grains was curds. I continued letting the thing culture and by day 4 it the batch had split into curds and whey.

This wasn’t a tragedy. It’s basically just messy. I thought the grains were still viable. The curds and whey are edible. Curds coalesce into a sour cream consistency and can be used likewise. The whey can be used many ways including as a starter culture for other ferments.

The trick is to get the kefir grains out of the big blob. I did that by first straining it. Then it was time to get hands-on and squeeze it. The kefir grains were harder than the curds and had a texture which didn’t give when pinched between thumb and index finger. Voila! Rescued!

The proper ratio is about 1 TBSP grains to 1 quart of milk. And, you’re supposed to gently shake the mixture a few times a day to spread the grainy goodness throughout the batch. Whoops.

So I created the second batch. This time with the suggested ratio and requisite shaking. I drained the grains after 48 hours. Then I did a second ferment with a sealed lid. The internet says this might thicken it plus the anaerobic environment leads to carbonation. Cool!

This batch had the kefir-like sourness and there was carbonation so I declared the batch done, strained out the grains, bottled it with an airtight cap, and put it in the fridge. The “milk” did not thicken up. Just like the first batch.

I drank a scant .25 cup and it tasted familiar like the kefir one buys at the grocery, sans thickness. Best to introduce potentially new bacteria to your gut slowly. Sure enough, I had a mild message from my colon within 2 hours. Take that Benefiber.

I ate the kefir “cheese” on baked potatoes. Verdict? Yum. Definitely a good sour cream substitute. I imagine the heat isn’t good for the live cultures so I consider this a culinary rather than nutritional use.

I have made five additional batches as of today, all with secondary fermenting. and have gotten the same result. They all taste like kefir. I’m calling it a mild success. My theory is the grains are sluggish. I’ve heard that they might strengthen up again after several batches, so I’ll keep making batches as long as I have access to milk. I am under isolation with the rest of the world as of this writing so I am not going out for groceries unless strictly necessary.

I’ll also try a different brand of milk. It’s also heard that some pasteurized milk is ultra-pasteurized and the grains don’t like that (this merits more research on my part because right now I don’t understand the implications of utra-processing vs. regular). I’m not ready to quit on fermenting either ‘booch or dairy kefir. I may need to procure starters which are more happy and robust. And, it may be awhile before I can do that because of the pandemic. Meanwhile, I have done my usual sauerkraut. Just because I’m stuck at home doesn’t mean I stop getting good bacteria. Stay safe and healthy my friends.

I got myself a new kombucha SCOBY from my friend Eloise, along with some kefir grains. I’ve been relying on expensive probiotic supplements to bridge the gap and, well, it’s kind of dumb to spend good money when I can have the benefit of food nutrients in addition to the good bacteria. I’m trying to be better about making something cultured as part of my weekly food prep routines.

I’ve made saurkraut, yogurt, and rejuvelac successfully in the past. This is my first time doing kombucha and kefir.

A lot of fermentation techniques are super simple to do. Kombucha is one of the easy ones. I really like the explanations and videos given by Angelica over at You Brew Kombucha. I’ll leave the detailed how-to to her. BTW, SCOBY is an acronym for Symbiotic Culture Of Bacteria and Yeast. Rhymes with Adobe.

The basic method is that you make sweet tea, add a bunch of water, tea, “starter tea,”and the SCOBY. Then you wait for nature to take its course.

The yeast eats the sugar and proliferates, producing carbon dioxide. If you brew it long enough in an airtight container, that means it’s going to get fizzy. It’s also going to get more sour the longer it ferments. My spouse used to call kombucha “vinegar pop.”

Of course there are some additional things to do besides the basic process. Ensure you don’t use metal containers or utensils. You must use real sugar. Don’t worry. You won’t be adding it to your diet. It gets eaten by the SCOBY.

You need to ensure you cool down your tea before adding the other ingredients because if the liquid is too hot it might kill the good living microorganisms.

The process is not tricky despite the little rules.It makes plain ‘booch. If you want to add flavoring or lots of fizz, you’ll need to do a second fermentation. No big deal. It’s as simple as adding the tasty stuff and resealing the container.

SCOBYs require some care and feeding. As you make more batches, you’ll have a lot of SCOBY. Put it in a container and cover it with the ‘booch. Keep it out of the sun, at room temperature, covered. You can put the “SCOBY hotel” in the fridge. That will slow the proliferation. It’s totally fine. When you want to make more ‘booch, it will just mean it takes a little longer for the bacteria and yeast to get going.

You can see from the photo that I’ve gotten underway with my kombucha. I’ve also started the kefir. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.