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You are here: Home / Archives for self kindness

self kindness

Things I love: Judith Beck and CBT

2020-02-11 by laura

I often promote cognitive behavioral techniques because they are proven to work for habit change. IMHO weight management is 98% about stuff other than food and eating. Our brains have what I call “monkey minds” that can lead us astray. CBT tools like challenging thoughts and re-framing can tame that primate brain and direct it positively.

I’ve had weight issues like everybody else. Nutrition coaches aren’t immune. I strive to be transparent about how I manage as part of being a  coach focused on peer support and and being a “guide on the side.” Judith Beck‘s work has helped me more than any other tool.

I love her book “The Beck Diet Solution.”  Book cover The Beck Diet SolutionIt gives you six weeks of daily exercises to change certain ways of thinking which make it difficult to eat nutritiously and maintain your weight. They aren’t exercises that you need to get through in six weeks. Beck realizes that learning to incorporate each exercise into your life consistently can require practicing one at a time until the technique is solidly part of your daily routine.

I love it most of all because it helps with self-love and reminds one that change is possible. I continue to use many of the practices from the book which got me to my healthy size and help me maintain it.

 

 

Filed Under: Nutrition Tagged With: cognitive behavioral therapy, habits, nutrition, self care, self kindness, self love, things I love

On aging

2020-01-23 by laura

This is what 48 looks like. I’m getting professional head shots and photos for my web sites. I hadn’t really viewed myself in profile for several years. I’ve been a bit unpleasantly surprised by new wrinkles on my checks.

profile photo Laura J. Smart
Photo by Sara Egner

It started a few months ago when my friend Sara captured this image of me during an amazing sunrise at Burning Man. Now that I’m reviewing and choosing the pics for the sites, I’m reminded of it again.

Not super sad about it. Simply smacked with the evidence that yes I’m getting older even though I feel better than I’ve ever felt and (usually) think I’m looking better than I’ve ever done. Ok maybe I am a wee bit sad about it. I cop to being vain. Who isn’t.

Those sads though. WTF? I’m pretty sure it’s because we’re socialized to believe that women shouldn’t age. Men get to be “distinguished.” Women are “letting themselves go” or somehow less-than.

The best I can do is remind myself of good stuff. Just like with food and exercise habits, I use cognitive behavioral techniques to look forward and feel positive. I say these phrases to myself:

“OMG, I look so happy” (I was!) Look at that shit eating grin!”

“I am healthy AF!”

“I am enough.”

“Those wrinkles are from laughing and smiling. A lot. I’ve lived a great life and I have fun.”

“I look damn good!”

“We have the right to age.”

The ones that work  best for me are

“Aging beats the alternative.”

“Aging is going to happen. Spending my time worrying about it is (a) useless and (b) a total waste of time that (c) makes me feel horrible. I choose to be grateful that I’m still here.”

All of my photographer friends remind me that light makes a huge difference in how I appear in pictures. And, they remind me that pictures aren’t necessarily how I’m perceived by others. Not that that matters to me.

2020.01.11 profile photograph of Laura J. Smart The older I get the less fucks I have to give about what others think about me. That’s been a fabulous perk of getting older. The very best things are yet to come. I occasionally take selfies. I like this one. I use them to either check that I don’t have spinach on my teeth when I don’t have a mirror handy or to see myself in a positive light. Then they’re usually deleted.

I rarely share them any more. I have opinions about “thirst traps” and they lean towards disapproval. As originally used, thirst traps are not positive attention seeking. Lately I’ve seen them being used in safe-spaces as a means of being proud of oneself and getting positive validation.

I’m good with finding them empowering if the feedback works for you. They simply aren’t for me because I want to have my self-esteem driven by my self. Sorry people.

I’m grateful to be alive. When I really think about it, aging fucking rocks.

Filed Under: Wellness Tagged With: aging, beauty, cognitive behavioral therapy, self kindness, self love

My coaching philosophy

2020-01-21 by laura

I can’t make you change.

I’ll say it again. I can not make you change.

My coaching philosophy is to be the trusted supportive companion while you do the work. It is work. Work can be a positive and joyful experience. It is my deepest wish for you to have the change you seek.

As your coach, I’m here to be a comfortable, safe, non-judgemental feedback and support provider. I encourage informed self-direction. My biggest job is reinforcing your good habits (yes, you have them) and helping you build on them, using the information you already know, and helping you get additional trustworthy information to inform your decision-making about your health.

I can work with “just tell the  me what to do.” Maybe you need that jump start. I will have ideas and opinions that I will share. The way that I share them depends on how you prefer we communicate. My own coach once suggested I become a dominatrix-style coach. Not sure about that as my special coaching skill, but I can go there if that works. And, it will be safe, sane, consensual, and caring.

The thing is, eventually coaching is going to end (unless you want to pay me for life…I’d be down for that *grin*). When coaching ends how will you find the motivation to keep with your habits and sustain your change, or make even more change? There can’t always be somebody there to tell you what to do and kick your ass for not doing it. If you become more self-motivated you’ll be more likely to keep up with your work.

I prefer to work with “help me choose what to do and how to do it”. I think your change will be a bit easier to make if it’s (mostly) self-directed. You might feel stronger making your changes if you choose your path yourself. If we take this approach I would help you evaluate your motivation and goals, take some baseline data for assessing progress, and choose for yourself based on the information we discuss. At that point I’m here to help you be accountable to yourself, however you decide to create and sustain your change.  Not sure how? I have tips, tricks, ideas, referrals, and all the knowledge to impart that my training provides.

Depending on what services you choose, we discuss

  • Nutrition info on choosing functional foods that work for you
  • Recipes, cooking instruction, kitchen organization – essentially how to eat in whichever style (vegetarian/vegan, gluten-free, paleo, keto, aip, iifym etc.)
  • Compassionate self care in all spheres human wellness
  • Tips for doing your tasks *consistently*

If you would like to work with me, I invite you to register for my waiting list. I will have spots opening soon but they are limited.

 

 

Filed Under: Updates, Wellness Tagged With: coaching, habits, nutrition, self kindness, self love, updates, wellness

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Smart On Health covers all things wellness from the perspective of Laura J. Smart, a London, Ontario  based health coach and writer. You can read more about Smart On Health on the details page.

About Laura J. Smart

Head shot of Laura J. SmartLaura helps you with nutrition, fitness, culinary skills, and sustainable habit change at laurajsmart.health

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